


of amity

by peachies



Category: Ensemble Stars! (Video Game)
Genre: M/M, don't @ me im a small bean trying to have fun, insert fluff and kaoru/souma friendship, which ship will win stay tuned to find out
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-03
Updated: 2016-11-09
Packaged: 2018-08-19 07:16:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 14,502
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8195563
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/peachies/pseuds/peachies
Summary: in which souma has a not-so-subtle-crush on adonis and kaoru decides to be a love counselor





	1. to pledge

**Author's Note:**

> The
> 
> hi hello this is my first enstars fic ! ! welcome to my piece of trash,  
> anyways i love the marine bio club so heres a fic about kaoru and souma being friends kinda sorta
> 
> i hope you enjoy !! please tell me what you think,
> 
> ps: i don't really? like using honorifics in my fics but i kept them in this one for. experimental purposes but if anyone wants to correct me on if its ok to use or not im willing to learn ! !!

Something is wrong with Souma.

On days where rejection is a – literal – cold slap in the face, Kaoru often finds himself retreating to the safe confines of the places he knows well, surrounded by the people he hates to admit he knows a little _too_ well.

Today is one of these days. While he usually seeks refuge in the aggravating presence of his fellow UNDEAD members – he won’t ever admit, but he secretly appreciates their antics and maybe actually likes having them around, if only for entertainment purposes – today, the club room is empty, with only the lone coffin set in the corner locked tight.

It’s irritating; on one of the few days he motivates himself to actually go to practice it seems there is no practice to be held, but even still he crawls with his dignity hanging low to query comfort from the soft illuminating blue lights.

It’s here where Kaoru decides that something is _incredibly_ wrong with Kanzaki Souma.

He stands in the glow of the tanks and he watches the young man wipe at a tank with a cloth, continuously wiping the same spot over and over, staring directly into the blue abyss. A red flag already went off when Kaoru entered the room and Souma didn’t reach for his sword and attempt murder – really, Souma didn’t even _acknowledge_ his existence. That was quite hurtful; Kaoru likes to think he has _some_ kind of stage presence.

“Soumaa- _kun_?” Kaoru draws out. When no respond comes, he slams his bag down on the table. He wasn’t mad, he simply wanted attention – even if was negative attention, even if it was attention from a, _ugh_ , man. “Souma- _kyun_ , helloooo?”

The young samurai flinches, hard, dropping the cloth and fumbling with his sword. His eyes meet Kaoru’s and he instinctively reaches for his sword, but it slips from his grasp. He immediately drops to the floor to retrieve it, clutching it only to have it slip out of his grip again. And again. And a fourth time...

Kaoru lets himself laugh, because _Jesus,_ _what a mess._

“Y-You!!” Souma exclaims once he has – finally – his grip on sword. “What on earth are _you_ doing here, you disgrace?!”

Souma points his sword up at Kaoru, but it falls out of his grip again. Oh my _god,_ this was more entertaining than what Koga and Rei’s antics could ever be.

“What.. Are you talking about?” Kaoru manages to get out through his chuckles. “I’m.. I’m a Marine Bio Club.. Member too, y’know? I’m entitled.. To.. To come here when I want!”

He can see through the blue light Souma’s face flush. “Stop your laughing, lecher! I hardly consider you a member. You are a dishonour to the club, and a dishonour to the president.”

“Ouch. That’s rough,” he feigns hurt but shrugs it off. “Even if you don’t like me, Souma- _kun_ , I’m just as much of a member as you. I have ever right to be here.”

Souma grunts, because he knows Kaoru’s right and he hates admitting it. He picks his sword up and stands, glaring at the older man all the way through.

Kaoru sits and watches him. He pretends to be fiddling with his phone, but really, Souma’s... behaviour is much more interesting.

He watches as Souma trips his way over to the box of fish feed. He watches as Souma attempts to lift the heavy bag and watches as it slips so easily out of his grasp and spill onto the ground. He watches as Souma desperately tries to clean it up, and watches how he struggles to brush _one_ piece of feed into the dust pan.

Something is really wrong with Souma.

Usually, he has more dignity and more grace when he moves. He usually has the strength to lift boxes no matter the weight. He usually isn’t this... Clumsy.

It makes Kaoru laugh, honestly, but there’s a small part of him that is concerned. A small part. A really small part. Kaoru doesn’t care, _really_ , he doesn’t, he swears.

“Really, what’s up with you today?” Souma looks up at him as he accidentally brushes feed onto his pants. “You’re acting so weird.”

“Do not act like you know me!”

“Well, I know you enough to know that the way you’re acting...” Kaoru tries to word the sentence carefully, because he really doesn’t feel like having his head sliced off today. If Souma can even manage that, that is. “...isn’t really... samurai-ily.”

Souma scoffs, but he’s too absorbed in rubbing the stains the feed is leaving on his pants. “Do not anger me. A fiend like you has no place to put judgment on how I act.”

Kaoru shrugs. “I’m not judging you, I’m just saying it’s a little strange, y’know? What if you trip again and end up cutting yourself with your sword?”

“Why do you act as if you care?”

“I don’t,” Kaoru quickly comes to say. “I really don’t, honestly. I don’t care about guys, y’know? If you were a girl, I’d be worried, but you aren’t, so go ahead and get yourself hurt. I’m just saying, if that happened, blood’ll get everywhere, and then I’d have to clean it up. That’d be troublesome, y’know?”

Souma narrows his eyes. “Do you think of no one but yourself?”

“Nah, I think of girls, too.”

“You are such a repugnant man.”

“Again, ouch.”

The door creaks open and the two men turn as a low voice softly echoes through the room.

“Hakaze- _senpai,_ ” Adonis’ voice is deep and calming, though Kaoru would never really admit it, “Oh, and Kanzaki, too.”

Kaoru swore he heard a high-pitched squeak(?) from Souma’s direction.

“Oh, Adonis- _kun_. Hey, I went to practice today, but no one was there?”

“Ah. I apologize. The track team has an event today. Sakuma- _senpai_ said it would be better to practice when all of UNDEAD is present.” Adonis looks sheepish, regretful, his face flushing with sudden guilt. “I apologize. I tried to contact Hakaze- _senpai_ to tell him, but...”

“...You didn’t know how on your phone, did you?” Kaoru finished, because Adonis is really, _really_ predictable.

“Yes. The screen was black...”

Kaoru sighed. “Adonis- _kun_ , you have to charge it, y’know? I swear, you and Sakuma- _san_ are useless at things like this... Good thing you have me! And Koga- _kun,_ I guess _._ ”

“Yes. We are grateful, Hakaze- _senpai_.” Adonis turns his attention to Souma, who Kaoru notices now is clutching his sword to his chest and looking _anywhere_ but the doorway. “Kanzaki?”

“Y-Yes!” Kaoru has to put effort into stopping the laugh that tried to escape his throat when Souma’s voice cracks _hard_.

“I am unable to join you in running tomorrow morning. I apologize. The track team needs me to be there for morning practices, so--”

“Y-Yes! I understand! I-It is okay, Ad- Adono!” Kaoru has to put in _more_ effort to not laugh; Souma’s voice is cracking left and right and did he just put together Adonis and - _dono_?

“...Are you alright, Kanzaki?”

“Yes! I am fine. Fine!” Souma’s smiling, but his eyes scream _panic_ , _dear god death can’t come faster_.

Adonis isn’t convinced, and Kaoru knows this because he looks at him full of concern and worry. “...Alright. I will not demand you to tell me, but as your friend, Kanzaki, I am here for you.”

He bows, just slightly, and leaves, the soft click of the door sounding loud in the quietness in the room.

“...So.” Kaoru’s smirking, and Souma wants to slice that smirk off his face. “Adonis, huh?”

Now he’s finally looking at the younger on the floor, he can see that his face is blown out red and his hands are shaking violently.

“I... W-What about Adonis- _dono_?”

Kaoru leans his elbow on the table and his smirk spreads.

He _knows_. This is _bad_.

“Souma- _kyuuuun_ ,” he sees the younger flinch and it fuels him, “you like Adonis- _kun_ , don’t you?”

The sword slips out of his grip again and he’s trying _so hard_ to glare at the other. He fails. “D-Do not say such things!! I-I mean to say... Adonis- _dono_ is my friend, of course I like him!”

“But you _l_ _ii_ _iiike_ him, don’t you?” 

“You are talking nonsense...” the samurai takes hold of his sword, pulling the blade out of it’s sheath only for it to slip and almost cut his thigh.

This time Kaoru allows himself to laugh. “You say one thing, but the way you act says the other.”

Souma gives up, watching the abandoned sword on the floor as he begins to fumble with his hands. “I-Is it wrong?” his voice is small, fragile, and his face flares bright red. “To feel this way towards a treasured friend... It’s shameful! I have soiled our garden of friendship...!”

“Your garden of what now?”

“I have no right to face Adonis- _dono_! I am disgrace...” He clenches his hand into a fist, and Kaoru thinks he’s going to cry.

“Woah, now. Calm down?” Kaoru lowers himself and crouches in front of the younger. For once, the other doesn’t recoil away in disgust. “Feelings like these are normal. You didn’t destroy whatever ‘garden’ of friendship you have with Adonis- _kun_ , whatever that means. Does he even know you like him?”

Souma releases his fist, but his eyes won’t meet Kaoru’s. He doesn’t say anything.

“...No?” Kaoru sighs. “Why no-- No, don’t answer that. I don’t want another lengthy speech about ruining gardens and committing suicide.”

“...You know my secret.” Souma’s eyes meet his own, and Kaoru refrains on commenting how beautiful they look when sorrowful. “Are you going to tell Adonis- _dono_...?”

“What, like tell him that you like him?” he waits for the younger to nod slowly. “No way! Really, you honestly think I’m an awful guy, huh? Nah, I’m not like that. A crush is an important thing, right? You should tell him yourself!”

Souma fumbles with his hands again. It’s so surreal to see the self-proclaimed samurai act like this – so gentle, so fragile, and so... Normal? It creeps Kaoru out. “I-I cannot do that! I would break our precious friendship. The friendship I have with Adonis- _dono_ is more important to me!”

“But what if he feels the same? You don’t know that, right?”

Souma lets out a straight-out whine and cowards away. He covers his ears with his hands. “That-- Do not say such things to me!”

“But Souma- _kyuuun_ , you don’t know until you try, riight?” Kaoru crawls after him. His eyes are shut closed, face flushed crimson and he’s desperately trying to block out the sounds Kaoru is making – he’s failing. “Adonis- _kun_ is a good boy. Really! We’re in the same unit together – he’s nice! He wouldn’t be mad at you, and trust me, he would not break your friendship because of that.”

The younger pops open a violet eye. “H-How do you know this?”

“He never shuts up about you, honestly. Goes on about how you’re his most trusted friend and all that jazz. I don’t really listen, to be honest, but he seems excited so I just let him talk.” The blond shrugs at the memory. “I think he’d be more mad if you didn’t tell him. Friends tell each other everything, right? But you’re keeping a secret from Adonis- _kun_...”

“...I hate to admit, but you bring a valid point...” The red intensifies at Kaoru’s words. “To think I mean so much to Adonis- _dono_... Ah, but to tell him! I do not...”

“You don’t...?”

“...Know... How...” Souma abruptly turns to the blond, and Kaoru can see tears already whelming in his eyes. “Hakaze- _dono_! What shall I do?!”

“Woah, don’t cry for one. That’s irritating...” The blond sighs deeply, because he’s already aware of the trouble he’s stirring himself. “Just tell him. It’s as easy as that.”

“But... How do I...?!”

“Really, this is going to be annoying...” Kaoru sighs again; sometimes he believes the kid didn’t have a single rational thought in his brain. “I guess I’ll have to help you.”

“H-Hakaze- _dono_?!” Souma flinches as his words, and Kaoru’s convinced he belongs in some kind of anime with his dramatic reactions. “I-I... I do not need aid from a fiend like y--”

“Hey, do you wanna be with Adonis or not?” his words silence the other. Souma looks down and plays with his fingers.

“...Y-Yes...”

“Then it’s settled! I’ll be your tutor, okay?” The blond lifts himself off the ground and brushes stray feed that clung to him. “Oh, but this isn’t for free. I have one condition.”

He sees the other narrow his eyes and grabs for his sword.

“Really, it’s about that thing,” Kaoru gestures to the blade lazily, “stop waving that thing at me. I don’t really wanna die, least of all to a guy. Stop trying to kill me, and I’ll help you, okay?”

“But! My katana is a symbol of my fa--”

“I don’t care. You can carry it around, whatever, just don’t use it against me. Really, some of the cuts you left on me lasted for _weeks_...” He sighs. “And at least treat me somewhat nicely, okay? I don’t like hanging around guys, but you’re the exception for now.”

“I understand.” Souma lifts himself, blade clutched in his hand. “Though I detest you, I will heed your conditions. I leave myself in your hands, Hakaze- _dono_.”

“Don’t say it like that! I don’t want a man in my hands...” Kaoru sighs, again, deeply, maybe even regretfully. “Don’t make me regret this, okay?”

And Souma smiled at him, a smile Kaoru has never seen before – one full of excitement and one full of trust. “Understood!”


	2. to intrigue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> in which souma tries to conduct research on this """love confession""" concept and a plan is formed

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello hello again !!! thank you all to those who left nice comments and kudos aaa you're all so sweet and i appreciate it so muc h!! im so glad to hear people are enjoying it ; v; 
> 
> so this chapter is-- well. it's something, omfg,,, i don't really like it that much gosh i am so sorry--the next chapters are going to be more interesting with more content bc this c hap ter is. Dialogue Explosion im so srry it's more to set up character dynamics between kao/sou so i,
> 
> but please tell me your thoughts !! i love to hear what you guys think !! i hope you enjoy this chapt and thank u all again for your support ilysm !!!

Kaoru regrets it.

Really regrets it.

A week has passed and progress is almost non-existent. Souma’s still a mess – a little bit less so, but still a hot mess – gross, did he just call a guy _hot_? - and can’t seem to function right near Adonis.

Kaoru even graciously volunteered to partake in conversation with the three of them, in which he practically had to drag Souma by the hand – wrist, by his wrist, Kaoru would rather die than touch a man’s hand – to even stand near Adonis. And even then, his efforts were futile, still, because the flustered ‘samurai’ fumbled out an excuse and practically ran away. If that wasn’t enough, Adonis, emotionally clinging to Kaoru’s side, mused in worry and was convinced his friend was ill ( _“Adonis-_ kun _, I don’t think Souma-_ kun _’s ever alright,” / “Does.. Kanzaki have a chronic illness?!” / “No, that’s not what I mean-- How did you get to_ that _conclusion?!”_ ).

It’s exhausting. Kaoru’s exhausted. He’s never been so close to the boy before – never had the chance to have a decent conversation with him that didn’t end with a sword at his throat. And yet, here he is, spending practically every day with him for absolutely no reason, practically. It’s terrible. Kaoru wants out of this stuffy club room. He’s sick of it, even if it’s only been seven days.

The door creaks open and Souma enters, arms full of books with bright colourful covers. He dumps the pile on the table.

“Hakaze- _dono_!” Souma chirps, and Kaoru’s almost getting sick of his indefinite cheer.

“Hm? What are those?”

Kaoru leans in, and he sees them, vivid flash titles and explosion of pink and all: _shoujo mangas_.

“Kiryu- _dono_ lent them to me,” Souma explains.

“Kuro- _kun_? He reads things like this?” Kaoru squints, eyes scanning through the pile and unfortunately recognizing some of the names. He only knows them because of the girls he has dated, he swears.

“He said they belonged to his sister.”

“And he just carries them to school?”

“I suppose? Kiryu- _dono_ had a bag full of them,” Souma sits and grabs a novel, flipping through the pages quickly without reading them.

“That’s weird. I guess he’s just a softie, huh?” Kaoru picks up one as well and flips through it idly – he doesn’t have to read it, he already knows the plot. And the characters. And the ending...

“Yes. Kiryu- _dono_ is very kind.”

“I guess, but it’s still strange for a guy to just carry around his sister’s ma-- hey,” Kaoru interrupts himself, his attention focusing on the younger man. “Don’t read that.”

“But--”

Kaoru grabs the book, entitled _Kiss X Sis_ , and throws it with a little too much force, and it topples on the floor.

“Do _not_ read that,” he threatens when Souma attempts to retrieve the abandoned book, “Geez, I knew he had some kind of sister complex, but really, Kuro?!”

Souma blinks, because he doesn’t understand, and Kaoru is a little bit grateful that he doesn’t say anything more. _That_ would’ve led to a strange discussion.

“Anyways,” he exhales – he’s exhausted already, “why’d he give you these?”

“Kiryu- _dono_ said they would help...”

“Help? Oh, did you tell Kuro- _kun_?” Kaoru played with the pages of the book, flipping through them quickly and only pausing on the more intimate moments.

“...No... I did not... Tell Kiryu- _dono_ , but...”

Kaoru chuckles – Souma’s just as predictable as Adonis. “He figured it out on his own, huh? Well, that’s no surprise. You make it _reallyyy_ obvious, you know.”

“I--?! It is really as you say, Hakaze- _dono_?!” Souma drops the book he had picked up dramatically and turns to try and clutch onto Kaoru. “What shall I do?!”

“Yuck, don’t touch me for one,” the blond shrugs the other off. “Anyways, I don’t think these’ll help you much. Shoujo mangas are suuper exaggerated and unrealistic. They blush a bunch, go through denial, cry a little, _there’s no way he could like me!_ Even when he so _obviouslyyy_ does, and then they confess and kiss and that’s it.”

“You are quite knowledgeable about these...” Souma fumbles with another book, merely admiring the glossy cover. “Does Hakaze- _dono_ read shoujo manga, too?”

“No way! No, never! I just... I know things, okay?”

“...I see. If that is what Hakaze- _dono_ wishes to believe.”

“Hey, it’s true, you know!” Kaoru puffs his cheeks and pouts, but the other is unaffected. Yikes, that’s never happened before.

“If that is what Hakaze- _dono_ wishes to believe.” Souma repeats, but the book in his hands slips. “W-Wait! What Hakaze- _dono_ just said...”

“Huh? Oh, yeah, they just confess and kiss and fireworks go off and there’s some monologue about how warm it is and all that...”

Souma’s hands shake, and his face begins to burn. Not this again. “K-K-Ki... T-To tell Adonis- _dono_ my feelings, will I have to...?!

“Caaaalm down there. I said mangas are really unrealistic, right? Really, you don’t have to.”

“But...” Souma looks at him, and it’s so innocent yet... Mischievous? At the same time. “...Can I?”

The blond can’t help but laugh – who knew such a naive boy had such a dangerous side to him? “ _Ohhh_ , look at you, Souma- _kyun_! I guess, if you want. I’m warning you now, though, it’s not that exciting.”

“But--!! A unification of two souls through the lips, it is something that must be an emotional exper--”

“Nope,” Kaoru cuts in, twirling one of the glossy books on the desk. “Like I said, that’s how it’s described in movies and manga and such. But in reality? Nah, it’s not that great. All you taste is skin and saliva and sometimes lip gloss. _Flavoured_ lip gloss if you’re lucky.”

“But... But...” Souma looks so defeated and it’s hilarious.

“I’m serious. Take it from a guy who has kissed a lotta lips in his life.” He chuckles a little in pride. “I don’t know, maybe it’ll be different with a guy? I wouldn’t know. I haven’t kissed a guy. Ever. Never dated a guy either. And I won’t, you know, ‘cause I don’t swing that way. But it’s cool if you do, I don’t mind, really I do--”

“I understand, Hakaze- _dono_.”

“Hey, don’t cut your senior off!” Kaoru pouts again, but Souma doesn’t pay him any heed. Rude. “Anyways, no offence but I think these books are useless.”

He sees Souma deflate, almost literally, and sink more into his seat. “I was so sure...”

It’s annoying, it’s irritating and stupid and Kaoru hates it but he feels his heart tug and he’s sympathetic for another man for the first time. “Hey, cheer up?” he sighs. “You don’t need a big fancy, flowery confession, you know. Knowing how dense Adonis- _kun_ is, I think it’d be better if you were blunt about it.”

“Be blunt... To voice my feelings just how they are?”

“Yeah, exactly. What girls usually do with me is they flirt a bunch and then tell me during a date.” He tosses the book in his hand aside, and it drops on the floor next to the other one. He almost misses the look of disgust Souma sends him for _mishandling Kiryu-dono’s books!!_ , just almost. “So do that. Ask him on a date, but don’t call it a date? Then flirt a lot and confess.”

Souma’s eyes flutter, and Kaoru knows it’s confusion and not admiration. There’s a little annoying voice in him that’s saddened that it’s the prior, and it’s a little gross. “I do not wish to throw Adonis- _dono_.”

And now Kaoru’s confused. “What? I mean, like, seduce him, I guess.” He shakes his head and gestures at Souma. “Actually, nevermind. You probably don’t know how to do that, right? I really don’t want to have to teach you... Plus, like I said – just be blunt, ‘kay?”

Souma nods, scribbling crude notes on a notepad. How long has he had that for? Kaoru never even noticed it, yet it’ s full of unreadable notes.

“You’re actually writing notes on this, wow. Glad to know _someone_ appreciates what I say.”

“Do not misunderstand. I hold no respect for a man as devious as yourself. I am only writing what you say for reference.”

“And here I thought you were beginning to warm up to me. You’re still so cold, Souma- _kyuuun_ ,” he sings the name out, and the literal cringe Souma crinkles on his face is _so_ worth it. “Anyways. So, ask him out, but don’t call it a date, ‘kay?”

“But Adonis- _dono_ is busy with the track team... I will have to wait.”

“Mm, but that’s only this week, right? You can just ask him now and plan for, like, this weekend.”

“Oh! I do not wish to admit, but you are right, Hakaze- _dono_.” Souma nods, more to himself, and his eyes narrow in concentration. “But to go on this ‘date’ there must be a location, correct?”

“Really, everyone hates to admit that I can be right sometimes. That sorta hurts...” Kaoru twirls a blond lock. “But yeah. That’s kinda the point of a date: you go to some place and hang out together.”

“Is there an ideal location for this ‘date’?”

“No? I mean, it’s usually like, cafes or restaurants or movies or something, but I guess you could go anywhere. Really, just go to a place you think you and Adonis- _kun_ will enjoy.”

“A place Adonis- _dono_ would enjoy...” Souma ponders, rigid and stiff as a statue until he stands and slams his hands on the table with force enough to literally shake Kaoru. “Oh!!”

“Hm? Do you have an idea?”

Souma looks at him, and his eyes sparkle and twinkle and Kaoru wants to gag. “The aquarium!”

“Oh? The aquarium, that’s cute.” he stops abruptly to quickly add, “Not you. The idea, I mean.”

“Adonis- _dono_ has said he wants to observe sea creatures, because he can not join the Marine Life Club.” Souma explains, but Kaoru doesn’t really care. “He is quite interested in them!”

“Are you sure it’s that and not because you talk forever about it?” Kaoru sighs anyways, and gestures dismissal towards him. “No matter. The aquarium, huh? That’s a good idea. Why don’t you go ask him?”

“At this moment?”

“Yeah. It’s after school, right? He should be with the track team. I’m sure the other two wouldn’t mind if you pull him aside for a minute or two.”

“I see... I do not wish to be a burden, but...” Souma nods, grabbing his blade in hand and heads for the door. “I will go to Adonis- _dono_ now. You have my gratitude, Hakaze- _dono_!”

“Thanks, I guess-- Wait, don’t leave me with all these books!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> apparently to flirt can mean "to throw or propel something" the more u know
> 
> kuro just got Kinkshamed™
> 
> again oh man this chapter is like 99% dialogue im sorry,, im not that great at dialogue so im trying to practice?? ww im sorr if it was boring, next chapter is interesting bc souma on a date !!! and other things i have planned ehehehe 
> 
> speaking of next chap-- that won't be released until friday at the earliest i apologize!! i have projs and midterms to suffer through but it's thanksgiving this weekend so ill have a lot more time to write c: 
> 
> again please let me hear your thoughts !! i really appreciate it aaa


	3. to fall

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> in which souma goes on a """date""" and kaoru forms a headache

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i want to fall in love at the aquarium!!!!!
> 
> it's been so long my dudes im so sorry for having been delayed ! ! ive been dying w school projs and midterms and bio was a mistake guys don't take it   
> but i am free!! for now until my next midterm on thurs,, yik e 
> 
> anyhow ! !! thank yo u for being so patient !! ! i hope you enjoy this chapt and as always i'd love to he ar what you guys think !! !

“So, he said yes?”

They’re standing at the bus stop, the pole separating them. Apparently going home together became a habit from all the time they spend together, and apparently they just so happen to ride the exact same bus home ( _“It is fate, Hakaze-_ dono _!!” “More like bad luck...”_ ).

“Yes. We have planned to go on Saturday.”

“Tomorrow? My, my, you work fast, Souma- _kyuuun_ ,” Kaoru laughs when he sees the other shudder and wince. “Oh, and remember: you can’t bring that-” he gestures vaguely to the blade Souma’s clutching, “-to the aquarium.”

“But--!”

“It’s _illegal_ , Souma- _kun_.”

“But my katana is my soul, to say I must leave it behind--!”

“Souma- _kun_ , bus.”

The loud roaring of the approaching vehicle screeched and cut off any further complaints Souma had. They boarded – Kaoru had to remind the other _again_ to scan his card – and the two sat at the back, their school bags in the seat between them.

“Hakaze- _dono_...” Souma speaks once they’ve seated, “what shall I do?”

“Really, you’ve asked that so many times now – do you even listen to what I tell you?” Kaoru feigns hurt, but really, he knows it won’t help – Souma doesn’t particularly care.

“No, I remember. I am simply...” he sighs, deflating slightly and toying with the hilt of his blade. “...Nervous.”

“That’s normal,” Kaoru’s looking out the window, searching for familiar streets as his cue to _get the heck out of here_ , “but remember – it’s just Adonis, right? It’s not like you don’t know him.”

“Y-Yes, but it is different...”

“Just be casual, y’know? Adonis- _kun_ isn’t scary – really, you’re making this a bigger deal than it already is.”

“You do not understand!” It draws Kaoru’s attention, the way Souma almost yells in the nearly empty bus, and he turns to see Souma’s pinking face. “Hakaze- _dono_ has never done such a thing, how can you possibly say it is nothing to worry about?”

“Woah, who said I’ve never had to confess to someone?”

Souma stops, and blinks – a habit Kaoru has memorized as his cue for confusion. “Hakaze- _dono_ has done this ‘confession’ before?” When the blond nods, he inches closer, a sparkle in his eye that Kaoru hates. “T-This is important information!! Why have you not mentioned this?”

“Because it doesn’t really matter?” Kaoru sighs to feign annoyance, but it’s really to cover up the uncomfortable bubble that’s forming in his stomach. “It was years ago. I barely even remember it.”

(He chokes at his own lie.)

“Oh...” Souma’s voice dies slightly, crumbling into a soft whisper laced with regret. “I apologize, then.”

“Nah, it’s fine.” He stands, slugging his bag over his shoulder as the bus begins to slow. “Well, my stop’s here. Tell me about what happens on Monday. Be a good boy at the aquarium, _okaaay_?”

He pats the top of Souma’s head, but it becomes rough and he ends up tangling and messing the violet locks instead. Souma glares at him, so full of venom and hatred that Kaoru actually has to laugh. He gives a brief wave as he exits the bus.

The sun is a flickering candle in the sky. They’ve been staying later and later in the club room after school, but Kaoru doesn’t really know why – he doesn’t actually remember what they do honestly. Time simply just seems to slip past them, and that only is suppose to happen when he’s on a date.

It’s creepy, and he hates it – he concludes that he will never try to become friendly with another guy ever again if this is what’s going to happen.

Still, Kaoru stares at his hand, the one that ruined Souma’s usual straight, orderly bangs. It feels dirty, but he’s in no rush to clean it off. Not yet, that is, especially when Souma’s shampoo isn’t the _worst_ thing he’s ever smelled.

(The fact that he can identify Souma by his smell now is horrifying to him – he only is able to do that for women. And UNDEAD, but they’re a special case, one that Kaoru will never admit to.)

(Souma smells of white lily, mild sweat and home cooking, by the way.)

(It’s not a scent he hates, necessarily.)

He shakes his hand, trying to rid it of whatever he imagines has dirtied it, and begins to trudge his way home, and hopes idly that this whole mess would end soon.

Maybe he’s too hopeful.

* * *

 

He’s staring into the dead buttoned eyes of an otter.

“What is this...?”

“A gift.” Souma places a puffer fish plush on the table – for Kanata, probably – and fumbles with his own stuffed turtle in his hands.

“Aw, that’s so sweet, you gave me a present!” Kaoru sings out, causing Souma’s nose to crinkle, and he laughs. He plays with the otter in his hands, and he can’t deny that it’s actually really cute.

“I did not want to, but because I bought a gift for Buchou- _dono_ , I believe I had an obligation to.”

“But you didn’t have to, y’know? That was your choice.” Kaoru laughs again when he hears Souma mumble a soft yet angered ‘ _be quiet!_ ’ - teasing him was just too easy. “So, how’d it go?”

“Hm? Oh!”

Souma rushes over to his side, pulling out a phone Kaoru didn’t know he had. He opens up his photos, flipping through them and babbling on about each picture of whatever sea creature is photographed, but Kaoru doesn’t really listen because he’s too impressed over the fact that Souma actually knows how to use a phone.

“Ah... These are, uh, cool Souma- _kun_. You should send them to me,” he says that sort of honestly, “but that’s not what I was talking about. I mean, how did it go with Adonis?”

“Oh. Y-Yes, it was-- fine.”

That doesn’t sound very reassuring.

“Oh, really? That’s good. So, what’d he say?”

“Well...”

“Souma- _kun_!” Kaoru sighs dramatically, head falling to the table in exasperation. “You said you’d do it!”

“I-- I apologize, Hakaze- _dono_! I did intend to do it, but...” Kaoru hears his voice get closer, hearing the chair next to him squeak.

“But _whaat_? What happened?”

“I...” Souma sucks in a breath of air. “In the presence of such inspiring creatures, I was swept away, and--”

“You were too distracted, huh?” Kaoru rolls his head to face him and Souma is close – too close, even with a considerable space between them, but his senses are filled with the overwhelming smell of lilies and he crinkles his nose in disgust. He groans loudly. “Really, you’re so hopeless! What do I have to do – confess to Adonis _for_ you?”

“B-But wait, Hakaze- _dono_! Adonis-dono and I made plans again, for next week...”

Kaoru lifts his head slightly. “Oh?”

Souma looks away again, his fingers playing around with the hilt of his blade again. “Y-Yes. It was my idea, because, you see,” his face starts to flush pink more, “I-I plan to cook a dinner for Adonis- _dono_ and I...”

“Ohhh, you’re going to cook for him? That’s so cute!” Kaoru freezes immediately. “Wait, the idea. Not you. You’re not cu--”

“I _know_ , Hakaze- _dono_.”

“Don’t cut me offf!!”

“...Anyhow. We have planned that for this Sunday...” Souma shifts his eyes towards him. “Hakaze- _dono_ , I wish to ask for your assistance.”

“Again? Ugh, what _now_?”

“Today, at the aquarium, I saw couples on ‘dates’ too,” he stretches the word out as if it’s foreign on his tongue, “they were dressed quite nicely. Must I dress nicely too, on these ‘dates’?”

“Well... No? Sometimes? Wait, what did you wear on yours?”

“My school uniform.”

“You did _not_ ,” Kaoru’s mouth hangs agape. When Souma nods, he stumbles over his words because _what the actual heck is wrong with this man_. “W-Wh-- Souma- _kun_! Why on earth did you think _that_ was a good idea?!”

“T-That is why--!” Souma’s hands fly up defensively, “I ask Hakaze- _dono_ to please help me!”

“You can’t even dress yourself without me?!”

“I-It is not like that! I do not know about ‘fashion’. I wish to dress in such a way that...” he begins to mumble, and his face darkens in shades. “...that Adonis- _dono_ will like, but I do not know how!”

Kaoru leans his head back and sighs deeply – the headache already forming. “Yeah, I hear you. Really, you need to be more independent – I can’t do everything for you! Fine, though. I’ll help, but this is the absolute last time, okay? After that, you’re on your own. I’m getting tired of this!”

Souma nods enthusiastically. “Yes, Hakaze- _dono_! I will not let you down!”

“You say that, but I shouldn’t give my hopes up...” He stands, grabbing his bag. “So? Your house on Saturday?”

“Yes! Thank you, Hakaze- _dono_!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sasotchaunda woah wo  
> akuariumu de
> 
> ther eis a reason why i didn't write the adosou date,, heh e you'll see, 
> 
> im excited for next chapter!!! im excited 2 write about souma's home,,, im alive i might start writing it tonight and you might see it tomorrow -- it's a long weekend after all !!!   
> happy canadian thanksgiving btw
> 
> the chapters after this one will be Juicy these past ones wer ejust setting up i have everything planned and its gonna be >:) i hope ur ready my dudes
> 
> as always thank u sm for ur support !! ! i get so happy whenever i read those comments ppl leave im l o ve ! ! ! but ofc you don't have to i also appreciate those who have left kudos too thank u so much !! i hope you all have a good day, ♡


	4. to drown

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> in which kaoru visits the kanzaki household and probably needs to go to the hospital

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> buckle up my dudes this one's a long one
> 
> so ! ! ! we visit the kanzaki household and we learn a little about souma's backstory just for fun :")  
> i am sorry about adding souma's lil bro but also not bc i just. wanted to showcase how good kaoru is have you read the amusement park story he's good
> 
> also youta means "light, sun" and since souma's means "sound of wind" put them together you have the sun and the wind (sweats) i swear im creative
> 
> have i also mentioned this story is written by a girl who has little to no romantic experience im trying my friends  
>  ok enjoy !!!!!!

****The Kanzaki household is just what Kaoru expected it to be – traditional in all sense of the word.

Souma lives far from the school – a forty-five minute bus drive – and his home lies nestled on a hill surrounded by a looming forest. The house itself is quite large, honestly, with surrounding ponds filled with swimming fishes and floating lilies. It’s impressive, really, and Kaoru briefly wonders if it’s simply an inherited house within lineage or if Souma’s secretly actually rich. If it’s the latter, he decides to keep the other around for a while.

Kaoru follows the other once he opens the door – panting, they had to trudge up the steepest hill Kaoru has ever seen in his life, and he’s convinced Souma has unlimited stamina because he looks absolutely fine. He steps inside and he’s greeted by that familiar smell – the scent of cooking, this time with a flare of burning essence.

He mumbles something to him about having a _nice house, man_ , and begins to slip his shoes off as does Souma, until he hears a soft thumping of small feet on the hardwood floors.

In a violet blur, he sees a small figure jump and tackle Souma, and for a moment Kaoru clutches phone, ready to call the police when he hears a shrill _broootheerrr_!!

“Brother _r_ _rr_!! Welcome home!”

Kaoru looks up, and sees a small boy burrowing into Souma’s arms. He’s really tiny, and his hair is the same violet shade as Souma’s, tied in a small bun at the top of his head with bangs that are too long and probably brush into his eyes.

Souma’s smiling, the boy is giggling, and Kaoru hates himself but it’s really sweet and sparks a nostalgic pang throughout him at the sight – it’s been so long since he was able to do that to his own brother, maybe even so long since he’s had a steady relationship with him either, but that’s a sob story for another day.

He has to look a way, just slightly, since he’s developed some kind of illness that only staring at Souma causes – he’s literally getting sick of spending so much time with him, at least that’s what he’s telling himself.

“Youta! Thank you,” Souma uncurls his arms from the boy’s frame and lowers him back down once he sees Kaoru’s awkward gaze at the ground.

Before he can speak, the boy points a pudgy finger towards him, and he looks almost alarmed once he notices Kaoru. “Brother! There is a stranger in our house! Shall I get Father’s katana?!”

“No! No, that is not necessary,” the way Souma answers with such urgency and fear actually scares Kaoru – what’s up with this family? “Youta, this is Hakaze Kaoru- _dono_ , he is, ah, a friend...?”

It’s kind of funny how unsure and how touchy he is with the word friend, but Kaoru ignores it and lowers himself to the boy’s level. The boy – Youta – flinches, and gives him a look of caution he’s so used to from his brother. Still, he gently offers his hand, slowly.

“Youta, was it?” The small boy hesitantly nods, and from the corner of his eye he can see Souma make a gesture, and soon there’s a small hand in his. He slowly encloses his own hand around it, and smiles as warmly as he can to him. “It’s nice to meet you, Youta- _kun_. How old are you?”

“Eight.”

“Really? Wow, you look so mature for an eight year-old!”

Youta’s eyes sparkle, the same way Souma’s does and maybe it’d sicken him but it doesn’t this time – it’s cute, pretty, almost. “T-Truthfully?!”

“Yes,” he lets go of the boy’s hand, but keeps his smile steady, “you look a lot like your brother.”

“Y-You think so?” The twinkle never fades, and Kaoru swears he can see galaxies in the boy’s violet eyes. “It is my dream to be like brother... I wish to be as strong as him!”

“Oh, do you practice katana too?”

Souma leans down beside him. “Yes, he does. It is our family legacy, if you will, to learn the way of the samurai.”

He’s suddenly acutely aware of how soft Souma’s voice is, and he doesn’t dare to look at him again.

“Is that so...” Youta nods fiercely, so fiercely Kaoru’s afraid his head might fall off. “Well, I don’t know much about this kind of stuff, but you look really strong to me, Youta- _kun_!”

“R-Really?!”

“Of course! Really, I have a special talent, you see?” Kaoru leans closer to the boy, his voice dropping to a whisper. “I can tell, just by looking at a person, who they will be in the future. And for you...” he pokes the boy’s chest so gently, so lightly, “...I can see it, as clear as day! You’ll be a strong samurai – maybe even stronger than your brother! Oh, but don’t tell him that, of course.”

Youta makes some kind of noise – Kaoru can’t tell if it’s one of horror or excitement, but he’s going with the latter – and spins around on his tip toes. “Brother! Hakaze- _dono_ said it! I will become a great samurai! Did you hear?! He said I will be better than y-- Oh!” he quickly covers his mouth, his eyes wide and looking regretful.

A chuckle begins to erupt from his throat, but it melts when he hears Souma’s bubbling laughter. “If Hakaze- _dono_ says it, then it will come true. But, a great samurai still needs to train.”

The boy nods fiercely again. “Yes! I understand – I will go train immediately!” He bows low, so low Kaoru’s almost nervous he’s going to hit his head on the floor. “Thank you, Hakaze- _dono_!”

He watches the boy turn and toddle off, tripping on his own feet and falling once or twice, and he hears Souma chuckle again as he does so.

“...Your brother’s cute.” Kaoru says once Youta has left.

“Yes. Hakaze- _dono_ is surprisingly well mannered with kids?”

“Yeah! I like kids, actually,” he finally turns to face Souma, and he’s a little disappointed to see his smile has faded. “Wait, what do you mean surprisingly?”

“Hakaze- _dono_ ’s behaviour with women is so repugnant, I am merely surprised to see him act so nicely,” Souma slips off his remaining shoe and slings his bag around his shoulder again.

“Wow, rude! I am _not_ repugnant with women – I’ll have you know I am quite a gentlema--”

“My room is this way.”

“Souma- _kyuun_ , don’t cut me off!”

* * *

He follows Souma obediently, taking him through a rather long hallway. He can’t help but notice the home has somewhat modern touches to it, at least in terms of decor and furniture, but that’s a little to be expected.

Kaoru slows his pace a little as they pass by a cabinet that features a collection of framed photographs. He sees one of what he guesses is a very young Souma, his hair tied in the same bun Youta has now, smiling widely with an infant struggling in his lap.

There’s another with a sticker label _SOUMA, 12_ , that shows him – his hair out but shorter than it is now, only hanging on his shoulders – standing alongside a female with Mount Fuji pictured in the background. Kaoru guesses that female is his mother – her violet hair is as long as Souma’s is now, but she has barrettes that have starfish on them clipping her bangs back. She’s cupping Souma’s head lovingly to her, and Kaoru notices then that Souma’s actually doing a peace sign. He laughs a little too hard when he sees it, so hard that Souma gives him a look.

His eyes pass one more, and Kaoru’s almost terrified of it. Souma’s not that much younger here, and he’s standing with what Kaoru can recognize as a Yumenosaki enrollment certificate. What really terrifies Kaoru is who he’s standing next to – beside him is a large man, with muscles larger than probably Kuro’s and Adonis’ combined. He looks rough, hairy from head to toe, and the hand he has on Souma’s crown is actually _bigger_ than his head. He looks happy, though, they both do, but Kaoru’s a little worried.

“Hakaze- _dono_? Is something the matter?”

“Ah, no, er-- Souma- _kun_?” He points gingerly with his finger at the portrait once the other joins his side. “Who is this...?”

“Oh, that is my father.”

Kaoru has to physically stop himself from jumping, and has to try even harder to stop the _but he looks nothing like you?!_ from blurting out. “...Really now?”

“Yes. That was the day I received my enrollment letter from Yumenosaki.” Souma smiles, and it’s the soft smile that Kaoru hates to admit he kind of likes – it beats the glares, at least. “Father was so proud of me. He was the one who wanted me to enroll, after all.”

“He was?” Kaoru blinks. Why would a family that values the _life of a samurai_ , as Souma puts it, want their heir to enroll in an _idol_ program? “Why? Or, did you enroll in the wrong course, or...?”

“Oh, no, it was correct. Father wished for me to be an ‘idol’.”

“...He did?” Kaoru’s even more confused.

“Yes. My father went to Yumenosaki when he was my age. He was an ‘idol’, and he wished for me to be an ‘idol’, too.”

“...Really? What, uh, concept-- style did his unit do?”

Souma stops, ponders. “I do not know these ‘genres,’ but... To compare, I believe it is similar to the style of Ra*bits?”

Kaoru wants to actually cry.

“That is what he said – he comes to every live that is held.”

“Oh, does he? What does he think of UNDEAD, then?”

“He-- ah,” Souma stutters, and suddenly looks away. “Let us not speak of that.”

“Ouch. Seems like I’m destined to be hated by Kanzaki’s.” He hears Souma make a noise – a short beginning of an argument, but it quickly stops. He still doesn’t look at Kaoru.

“...There is... Somewhere, in this house, ‘cassettes’?” He waits for Kaoru to nod in affirmation, “Of the ‘unit’ songs Father sang. If Hakaze- _dono_ wishes, I can lend them to you if I come across them.”

“That would be _lovely_.”

“Okay,” Souma turns, gesturing with his finger towards a nearby door, “my room is here.”

Souma’s room is surprisingly modern, too – well, almost. As modern as you can get when it’s a wannabe samurai’s room. There’s not much to it, honestly – there’s a bed (a large one, Kaoru wants to note, it can hold two people, which is silly because who is Souma honestly going to have over? His mind says Adonis but his gut twists in disgust.) with two nightstands on either side, and Kaoru can make out miscellaneous objects on said nightstand like a photograph of him and Adonis, as well as a leather bracelet and what Kaoru guesses is his signature AKATSUKI ribbon.

He also can’t ignore the fact that there is at least ten aquatic plush animals littering the headboard area of Souma’s bed. Cute.

Wait, no, not cute. Pathetic.

(Kaoru’s bed is littered with them, too, but he’d never say that out loud, because pride, you know.)

Souma throws his bag down and it misses his bed. Kaoru gently places his down near the door, and follows the other to the doors of Souma’s closet. It’s a big closet, actually, with a door that slides to open. He slides open the door, and Kaoru’s surprised.

It’s... Normal?

He can see on the left side is what he initially expected – traditional clothes, kimonos, haoris, and beside that is what Kaoru assumes are his AKATSUKI uniforms.

However, besides that... It’s just-- Normal. T-Shirts, jeans, sweatpants, hoodies and sweaters. It’s honestly so weird to him to imagine Souma in such... Normal clothing. The thought kind of makes him laugh, in a way – underneath this samurai facade Souma has literally grew up into is a normal teenage boy. He’s never really considered the other in that sense.

“...Huh.”

“Is something wrong, Hakaze- _dono_?”

He shifts his focus on Souma for a minute, and regrets it. Souma’s staring at him, not even intently, just simply staring with gentle violet eyes and a patient face, and he doesn’t even know why but it overwhelms him. He’s honestly starting to hate the colour purple, he feels like it consumes him now, which kind of sucks since it’s one of UNDEAD’s primary colours (besides the ever edgy black, that is).

Souma tilts his head slightly when he doesn’t respond, and Kaoru is disgusted with the immediate thought of _cute_ that rushes through his head. Gross, gross, gross!

“...Don’t look at me like that.”

Souma blinks, long and hard. He stays quiet, but doesn’t look away and it’s making Kaoru’s skin crawl.

“...I do not wish to do so, but if it is what Hakaze- _dono_ wishes,” he grips the hilt of his blade, “then I shall remove my eye--”

“Don’t cut your eyes out! That is _not_ what I meant!” Kaoru tears his gaze from the younger man and focuses back on the task at hand.

It’s actually times like these he’s grateful for Souma’s... _Slowness_ , if it were – it distracts him, lets him stop those disgusting, repugnant, revolting thoughts that tend to be appearing more often, since it reminds him of how undesirable Souma really is to him. Kaoru’s concluded that this is a mutated form of friendship, or maybe Souma is just slowly poisoning him every time the two go out for (apparently the younger’s new favourite drink ever since Kaoru introduced him to it the other week) hot chocolate. He prefers to believe the latter.

“Anyway,” his eyes shift through the articles of clothing in front of him, but he’s honestly at a blank – truth be told, Kaoru doesn’t know much about fashion. In reality, he should’ve asked his sister to assist him, but another part of him wanted to show off to Souma in a way. Just to show how amazing he is at this dating thing, of course. Nothing else. “What kind of style does Adonis- _kun_ like? I’ve only seen him wear UNDEAD uniforms, so... Maybe he likes edgy?”

“Adonis- _dono_ is not a blade.”

“That is not what I-- Just, don’t talk, okay?” He reaches inside the closet for something before he stops. “And that does _not_ mean cut your mouth off.”

He thinks he sees Souma pull out a notepad and scribble something on it, but he doesn’t pay it much heed.

Kaoru tries his best, trying to form calculations in his head of what would be the appropriate outfit, but in the end he gives up slightly, with the explanation of _simple is better!_ in his head. He pulls out a pair of jeans and throws it onto Souma’s face, consecutively tossing a black tank and grey cardigan too. Honestly, Kaoru knows nothing about colours and what colours match, but if being in UNDEAD has taught him anything, it’s that black goes with black and also goes with black.

He watches Souma stumble over and shake the clothing off his head, collecting the fallen articles whilst dropping another. Kaoru can’t help but smile a little, but it dies once Souma looks at him.

“Really, you didn’t need me for this. You had plenty of options here – you could’ve picked it yourself.” Kaoru sighs and averts his gaze, again. “You just wasted my time, Souma- _kun_. I could’ve planned a date today, but _nooo_.”

“I-I apologize, Hakaze- _dono_ , I--” From the corner of his view, he can see the younger fumble with the clothing in his hands and he swears he sees his face tint pink. “I... Prefer to have Hakaze- _dono_ with me, i-in this progress.”

Kaoru wants to punch him.

His face twists in a fight between a smile and a grimace. He flattens it into a frown, and sighs.

“...Kaoru, by the way.”

Souma looks up at him with a soft _huh?_ sound.

“I mean, you can just call me Kaoru. Like you said earlier, we’re friends, right?” Souma’s looking at him, and Kaoru can’t read if it’s confusion or offence in his eyes. “...At least, until this is all over, I mean. It just-- feels weird to be called by my last name all the time, you know.”

It’s silent, and it’s so silent it’s almost physically hurting Kaoru – his face flushes and the tips of his ears are red with embarrassment, but he doesn’t know why. All he asked was to be called by his name, it’s not a big deal, right?

But suddenly, Souma smiles, a soft smile and it relieves him, just slightly. “Then, simply Souma is fine.”

Kaoru shifts his feet, turning his head to finally look at the other in the eye, and maybe this time he doesn’t regret it – he feels a little warm.

Is this what friendship is suppose to feel like? All warm and stuff? That’s what the mangas say, anyways – not like he reads them or anything. He feels this kind of warmth with UNDEAD, but then again, this one is slightly different – it’s not really warm, per se, it’s hot fire bubbling in his gut, but a comforting one, but he doesn’t know why it’s different. Kaoru concludes it’s because it’s god damn eight at night and he is starving and he is unconsciously anticipating his sister to talk his ear off about how he’s coming home later and later these days.

That accurately describes his feelings right now – fear, anxiety, with a tinge of slight sadness.

“Okay, Souma,” his lips curl as he says the name as is, short and sweet, “oh, and another tip – do something different with your hair?”

“Why?”

“I don’t know. Sometimes girls do that, I don’t know if it’ll help, but,” Kaoru shrugs nonchalantly, dragging his feet to his bag and picking it up, “it’ll change things up, y’know? Maybe he’ll think you’re suddenly cuter or something if you, I don’t know, take your hair out.”

Souma’s eyes sparkle again, face brightening as he hastily writes down something on his notepad while murmuring _ohhh_ _good idea!_

He smiles a little more, shifting the strap of his bag over his shoulder again. “Well, good luck tomorrow. Tell me about it on Monday like usual, ‘kay?”

“Oh-- Would you like me to walk with you to the bus stop?”

“Nah, it’s okay.” Honestly Kaoru needs to get out of this house because he swears it’s making him crazy, and he knows that Souma would make it ten thousand times worse. “I’ll see you, then.”

Souma takes a step forward, and suddenly bows, leaving Kaoru a little flustered – even more than usual – before he straightens and smiles. “Be safe going home, and thank you for everything, Ha-- Kaoru- _dono_. I am forever grateful. If there is anything that I can do to repay your kindness, please let me know.”

_Repay me by stop making me feel gross._

Kaoru tries to smile back, but he’s so tired it’s only a smirk at this point. He gives a small wave and an inaudible _night_ before shutting the door behind him.

There’s a smell of what Kaoru thinks is stew that lingers throughout the house as he walks to the front door, and Kaoru assumes Souma’s parents are home, basing off the extra pairs of shoes lying near the doorstep. Maybe he should introduce himself, maybe he should apologize for intruding, but right now he doesn’t care – he wants out, lest he throw up.

And when he leaves, the cold night air is refreshing, but it still doesn’t stop the heat that builds in his chest and suffocates him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the gay intensifies™
> 
> can you guys tell i really don't like writing settings im so sorry
> 
> so ! ! ! believe it or not we're almost done this story ! ! i wanna say there's about 2? chapters? left maybe 3 give or take depending on how much i faff :')  
> but that also means it's time to break out the real juicy parts prepare your bottoms my dudes next chapter is a. :)
> 
> anyhow !!! thank you all again for reading and thank you for your kudos comments and bookmarks !!! all your support is super appreciated im love you guys sm ♡


	5. to know

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> in which kaoru is gay

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapt did not turn out how i intended it to but woops what is Done is Done
> 
> im in a rush-- but thank you guys again for being patient !! i've been swamped with work this past week and i want to mcdie but i appreciate everyone sending support !!! i love you all i am sorry for . Myself
> 
> enjoy my dudes !!!!!!

_Kaoru!!! Please, at the park in 30 minutes, can we meet??!_

He really should’ve ignored the text – he should’ve switched his phone off and pretended like he never even got it in the first place, yet here Kaoru is, on a park bench, (freezing) waiting as the sun crumbles behind the mountains and the sky is a dying vermilion flame.

It’s Sunday, and he hasn’t had much time to recover from the attack he received from Souma. Well, really, it was his own body attacking him, but he’s still going to blame the other. It’s not like it’s a big deal – his sleep was interrupted time and time again from reoccurring nightmares featuring a certain indigo haired boy that he chooses to forget about, but aside from that, and the never-ending headache that persists him, Kaoru’s fine.

...Right?

He sighs, long and exasperated – he’s tired. Not even just from the lack of sleep, he’s just tired of this whole ordeal and hopes that whatever Souma called him out here for is good news, but knowing the immediacy of the text, he fears for the worst.

Great. He probably has to comfort him now. He can’t even comfort himself, how can Kaoru be expected to care for someone else?

(He also can’t stop staring at the text, too – it’s gross and stupid how giddy he got when he saw _Kaoru_ without the - _dono_ , but Souma probably just doesn’t bother to write the honorifics in instant messaging.)

(But maybe he also wants to believe that it meant something.)

(It probably doesn’t.)

“Kaoru-dono _ooooo_!!”

He hears hard footsteps and deep panting, and by the time he looks up, Souma’s there, gasping for air and panting as he hunches over. Kaoru can’t exactly see his face, but he can see a light layer of sweat grace over his skin, and Kaoru’s a little impressed (and horrified) that he ran from his home to here – further away from the school, too – in such a quick amount of time. To see him, no less. Cute.

“Kaoru- _dono_!” Souma perks his head up suddenly, and it’s only then that Kaoru notices he’s wearing the outfit he picked out for him, and only then he realizes what a mistake it was. He’s almost apologetic towards the younger one, for putting him in such a god awful outfit in front of his crush no less, but then he notices that Souma’s hair is out and spilling over his shoulders and exuding that lily scent that Kaoru’s getting sick over and suddenly he’s not sorry at all.

“Hey—Did you really run from your house all the way here? There are such things as buses, Soumaa, you could’ve taken one.” Kaoru leans back, because Souma’s leaning too close to him as he hunches in front of him.

“I did not want to be late. Kaoru- _dono_!” He announces the name again, and Kaoru pretends like he’s starting to hate it. His head perks up, and Kaoru can see that he’s smiling warmly and widely. “I wanted to see you.”

Kaoru thinks he’s going to have a stroke.

“Oh. That’s, uh, nice. It’s sweet of you to miss this handsome face, but is that all you called me out here for...?” He pulls a hand through his sandy hair to calm himself. “Well, since you’re here—How’d it go?”

Souma straightens himself and blinks. “Hm?”

“...The date? With Adonis? At your house?”

“Oh!” Suddenly Souma snaps out of his trace, and his eyes droop in such a way Kaoru can’t tell if it’s disappointment or embarrassment. He’s going with the latter. “It, ah, how can I say this...”

Kaoru grimaces—this doesn’t sound good. “Please tell me it went well. Please end my misery, Souma, or I think I’ll cry.”

Souma hesitates, but then he looks at him straight in the eye. “It went well.”

“Ohhh?” Suddenly he’s beginning to think being dragged into this park wasn’t such a bad idea—Finally, he can have some peace of mind.

“Adonis- _dono_ and I, ah,” he’s fidgeting, his face is light pink and he’s stumbling over his words again and that’s all Kaoru needs to see to read what’s going on. “I—told him.”

Kaoru suddenly springs up, grasping Souma’s (sweaty) hands within his own freezing ones. “Ohhhh, you did, you did?! What did he saay?! Tell me everything, Soumaaa!” When Souma doesn’t say anything, and instead shifts his gaze downwards, he whispers darkly, “...Did he reject you? If he did, I swear, when I see him in practice tomorrow, I will--”

“Ah, no! It is fine, Kaoru- _dono_! I did not know you had that character to you...” A light chuckle elicits from the younger one, and Kaoru decides it was worth threatening Adonis over, even if he would never go through with those threats because—Just look at Adonis, there’s no way Kaoru’s fighting that. “He, ah, reciprocated...? And, and...”

Kaoru shakes his and Souma’s hands in glee. “Really? So you two are like, a thing now?” Souma nods shyly, his face darkening with every passing minute, but that might be the sun. Again, Kaoru likes to believe it’s embarrassment. “Ohh, good for you, Souma! I’m happy for you. For real, I am.”

“Kaoru- _dono_...” He sits back down on the bench, and Souma follows him. “...It is all thanks to you, that I am able to achieve this. You have my undying gratitude.”

“Nah, it’s fine. Really, I wanted to do it.” Kaoru sighs, leaning back against the bench and looking up at the velvet sky. “I’m just glad it ended well, and not like how mine went.”

Souma leans closer, his voice dropping to a soft whisper. “That confession, that Kaoru- _dono_ said before... Ended with rejection?”

“Yeah. It went awfully.” Kaoru laughs a little. “Like, it wasn’t even the rejection that hurt – I could take that, really. But, he so awful to me—mocked me for my family and such and it was just—It was bad. I was in first year, too, so I was extra sensitive to that. I’m glad it was Adonis, in the end. He wouldn’t hurt you like that guy did.”

“Kaoru- _dono_...” Souma starts, but then abruptly stops. “Wait-- _he_?”

“Yeah? What about him?”

“I... Am simply shocked. Kaoru- _dono_ said he does not like men in that sense--”

“Oh, no, it’s not that,” Kaoru makes a vague gesture towards him, “I just don’t like _you_ in that way. Or most of the guys at our school, really. Just need to make it obvious before any of them come charging at me, right?” He winks, but Souma’s looking away.

“Kaoru- _dono_ ,” Souma’s voice is so small, so quiet Kaoru almost didn’t hear it. “I apologize. I am sorry. While having such scars in your heart, you still helped me... I am truly sorry. I have hurt yo--”

“Woah now! Caalm down there. Really, Souma, even now, you’re still so dramatic!” He chuckles lightly, and the sound calms Souma just a bit. “It’s fine. Really! It’s been years since then, I’m over it. And, like I said, I did this because I wanted to, right? So really, it’s fine.”

Souma doesn’t say anything except a grunt Kaoru assumes is an acknowledgement, and watches as he plays with his thumbs some more.

“Well, I’m happy it ended well,” he stands, and the sudden movement makes Souma jump, “so that’s it, I guess. See you whenever I see you, Souma- _kun_.”

He starts to leave, but Souma jumps up and grabs his wrist. “W-Wait, Kaoru- _dono_! Where are you going...?”

“Home...?”

“O-Oh. Yes, home. To your home. You are going,” Kaoru raises an eyebrow, but says nothing. “I shall see you tomorrow, then.”

Kaoru shrugs, brushing Souma’s grip off in the process. “Nah, probably not. I only really actively came to club after school because of you and this whole thing, but it’s over, so I don’t have a reason to go for a while.”

“Oh. I... See. Then, may I text you?”

“I mean, sure, if it’s not asking me to meet you somewhere in half an hour or when I’m on a date--” Kaoru stares at him, his eyes narrowing. “Why, though? I thought you hated me.”

“H-Hate is... That is a strong word—I never said that! Do not say such lies about me!”

“Souma, you literally told me you detested me. _Preeetty_ sure detest means hate.”

“That was--!!” Souma looks away again, and the same embarrassed pink tints his face. “...I do not dislike Kaoru- _dono_. I—disagree with his frivolous ways, but...”

Kaoru waits, because he sees hesitation and—anxiety? In Souma’s eyes.

“...I do not think Kaoru- _dono_ is a bad person. Anymore, at the least.” Souma shyly peaks violet eyes into his own. “So... I want to us to stay friends.”

And Kaoru wants to die more than he ever has before.

It’s too much, too overwhelming, or maybe Kaoru’s overreacting, but Souma smiles at him in a soft, warm way, and with the sunset glittering behind him and making his hair sparkle and his eyes twinkle in such a way that it’s a scene out of a god damn shoujo anime, Kaoru can’t help himself. His stomach twists and turns and it’s not even like there’s butterflies—it’s like they’re all dying at once inside of him and maybe he himself is next. And maybe he’s being dramatic—he always was from his family, at the least—but this sickness in his veins make him impulsive and suddenly he can’t see anymore but he can smell Souma’s scent too intensely.

It’s different. Really different. Souma’s lips are cracked and dry and rough against his, but it’s endearing, in a way. It’s different than what he’s used to—no glossiness, no moisture, and Kaoru can’t even taste much, aside from what he thinks is a faint taste of meat. He feels Souma tremble and shift awkwardly, but soon he stops and rests his hands on the elder’s chest, and he swears he can feel the other rise on his tiptoes and lean in closer. A finger wraps around a violet lock, twirling it and it’s incredible how soft Souma’s hair really is—he thinks it’s softer than any girl he’s ever dated.

It’s almost sinful how much he likes this--

Wait.

What is he doing?!

The kiss itself is so brief, so short and when Kaoru pulls back there’s a rush of guilt that flows into his veins. He’s expecting Souma to be furious, to yell at him and maybe stab him a few times, but when he leans back and looks at him, there’s nothing—Souma’s looking at him, blinking innocently in confusion, and maybe there’s a small blush on his face but Kaoru chooses to ignore it (he also chooses to ignore the way Souma licks his lips right afterwards).

“...Kaoru- _dono_?” Souma’s voice is squeaking with confusion, and if Kaoru listens close enough, he thinks he hears a tinge of betrayal, maybe.

“...Shit.” Kaoru takes a step back, almost tripping over his own feet. “Shit shit shit shit shit—Sorry. I’m sorry, oh shit.”

If his heart wasn’t beating so loudly, maybe Kaoru would’ve heard Souma yelled his name as he dashed off. Maybe he would’ve even seen the other run after him, for only a few blocks. Maybe he would’ve stopped if he did, but he didn’t, and so Kaoru ran, and ran, and his steps felt more heavy, his guilt weighing him down.

He messed up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :^) and here we are, 
> 
> i think i handled this kind of messily and kind of. Put Kaoru's Character Through A Blender but . vaguely gestures 
> 
> next chap probably is the last one !!! the Final Showdown where (spoilers) we'll find out who gets the the last rose :") 
> 
> again thank you all for your support ! ! ! love you lots and hope you all are having a good day !!! ♡


	6. to love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> in which kaoru is depressed and gay and maybe souma is too

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> after a million years the end is here !!!!!!!
> 
> first of all i am soooo so sorry for not updating this in a few weeks and leaving everyone hanging!! after chap 5 began midterm season and i got super swamped with midterms and term papers that i had very little time to work,,,,, but it's mostly over ! ! ! until finals that is,
> 
> also slight warning: kaoru is kind of ooc? i honestly didn't know how to write him in this situation bc i. base characterization on situations they've been in before and kaoru hasn't been. like this in any side story but i tried my best,,, maybe ill go back and re-edit this at a later date but for now,
> 
> this chapter is kind of long but its the last one ! ! buckle up your seat belts my dudes have a safe ride

Something is wrong with Kaoru.

He’s drifting like a zombie, the edge between living and dying – well, at this point, he’s more embracing the sweet release of death more than anything. He’s terrorized by nightmares, terrorized even more that his unconscious mind doesn’t even register them as nightmares because he kind of enjoys them. He’s gotten little to no sleep because of them, the only sleep he gets are bursts in the morning, which, by consequence, make him late – _terribly_ late – to class.

He doesn’t bother going to practice, refuses to step foot in the club room, and even dumps half of his planned dates.

His usual “witty” (as he thinks they are) remarks are lost, and he sits in his seat silently, not even really listening, not even focusing – he’s just dead.

Really, he’s being pathetic – that last encounter with Souma shook him up bad, too bad, so bad he’s plagued with guilt and he wants to die and never come back.

(Keito teased him, saying his behaviour was just like Chiaki’s when they were in first year.)

(Kaoru remembers, remembers that all too well – he was always the one trying to cheer him up, after all.)

(Well, he says ‘cheer up,’ but it was mostly Kaoru waving tickets to some hero show in his face.)

(But that’s another story.)

But really, he’s scared. Scared, guilty and depressed. Guilty and upset he ruined a perfectly good relationship – _that he spent all that time making!_ \- and scared because, well... Adonis could probably break his skull in two with one hand. Not that he’s expecting him too, because anyone who knows Adonis knows he’s as gentle as a puppy, but that doesn’t expel _what if_ thoughts that deafen his realistic judgment, because _what if this time Adonis is so pissed off he breaks, what if he went to far, what if the_ real _Adonis is a violent one, what if_ \--

And so he avoids them, avoids them all. He knows it’s stupid, knows it’s pathetic, knows he needs to own up to his mistake, even more so because he’s heard Souma call his name down the hallway and knows it’s stupid of him to pick up his pace (he literally runs, but he won’t say that) once he hears it. But he thinks it’s better that way – and plus, once Kaoru finally gets over him—err, rather, once Kaoru gets over his sickness, _then_ he’ll be able to face him. Play it off as a joke or a slip up or something.

R-Right?

And Kaoru thinks this’ll work, thinks he’s smart until Rei stalks into 3-A with Koga behind him and somehow Kaoru’s lifted up and carried (bridal style, by the way, god _dammit_ – but who knew Rei could be _that_ strong?! His arms are noodles, practically!) to the Light Music Room and placed down with a _thud_.

“Ow! What was that for?”

A smirk slithers it’s way onto Rei’s face, like it always does. “Oh, I apologize, Kaoru- _kun_. I knew simply asking you to come to practice wouldn’t do much, so I decided to take measures into my own hands.”

“By carrying me?! Really, Sakuma- _san_ , you think so little of me! I can walk on my own, I really don’t want to be carried like that by a man,” Kaoru grunts, irritated, and starts to stand up, until he looks up and is met by a looming lavender figure. He stares, his mouth frozen and his dead eyes lighting up but lighting up with fear.

“...Hakaze- _senpai_?”

Kaoru’s half way up, but his legs buckle and give out and now he’s back on the ground. Adonis leans down, arm extending coming closer and closer until Kaoru can’t look anymore.

He’s too young to die.

But when he feels nothing, his eyes peel open and he simply sees Adonis’ hand – coupled by confusion laced in his eyes, of course. Kaoru takes it, pulling himself up but then crashes himself into his junior’s chest.

“Adonis- _kun_! I’m sorry! I’m really, really, really sorry!”

“I-- What? Hakaze- _senpai_? Is something the matter...?”

Kaoru can hear snickering from behind them – rather, soft chuckles from Rei and loud obnoxious laughter from Koga.

“I’m sorry, I messed everything up!” He looks up at Adonis, and momentarily is surprised to see, well, surprise in Adonis’ eyes, rather than his expected murder. “It’s not Souma’s fault, really! I don’t know what happened-- it just, happened, okay?”

Adonis blinks, his eyebrows creasing more. “I... Don’t understand. What is it you are talking about, Hakaze- _senpai_?”

And now Kaoru’s confused. “Uh-- I kissed your boyfriend?”

“... _Senpai_. I don’t have a boyfriend.”

Kaoru wants to fling himself out the window.

The snickering evolves into laughter, howling from Koga and _ohh, Kaoru-_ kun _and a boy_? from Rei, and Kaoru stops himself from scolding them, because this is _really_ not funny.

“...What do you mean you don’t? Souma said he confessed last week...” Kaoru mumbles, feeling his face slowing heating up in embarrassment because _oh god oh god oh no_.

Adonis blinks again, slowing unwinding Kaoru from his arms. “No. Kanzaki said nothing of the sort. He and I went out to eat, but what we talked about was nothing of that manner.”

He even lied about cooking him dinner?!

“Oh.” He mumbles it, embarrassed and flustered until more guilt flashes into him. “Oh-- Uh, Adonis- _kun_ , forget what I said about, uh, Souma liking you and all. Better if he tells you himself.”

“...No, _senpai_ , I think you misunderstood. Kanzaki does not hold those kind of feelings for me.” Kaoru feels like he’s been punched in the stomach. “He told me that – it’s someone else, I believe.”

What.

“...He _lied_ to me?! But why?” Anger flashes in him, mixed with slight hopefulness that he tries to push back down. “That’s so-- _irritatinggg_! All my work, for nothing--”

Kaoru pushes against Adonis’ chest, spinning on his foot and heading for the door. He passes a brief _sorry, I’m leaving, Sakuma-_ san, and receives a _that’s fine, have fun with your boyfriend_ , in return, but he pays it no mind. Really, he’s just irritated – irritated he wasted his time, irritated he wasted his time being guilty over _nothing_ , irritated that he was lied to. And why would Souma tell him he confessed when he didn’t?! Kaoru would’ve found out anyways!

And really, maybe there’s a small part of him deep inside that’s glad it was a lie. A really, really, really small part though. A small part he’s ignoring.

He stalks through the hallways until he storms through the clubroom. Kanata isn’t there, thankfully, and he only finds Souma being illuminated by the soft blue glow of the fish tanks.

When he’s heard, Souma turns, his face brightening into a smile. “Kaoru- _dono_!”

He forgets how being called by his first name makes his heart flutter a little. Ew. How annoying.

“Why did you lie?”

He doesn’t notice he’s short of breath, either, and doesn’t realize until now that his heart is beating a little too fast. Gross.

“W-What do you mean...? I did not lie-- Honesty is the way of the samurai, to suggest that I--”

“Cut the crap, Souma, I know you did. Adonis just told me.” Kaoru’s sharp with his words, so much so that even Souma looks hurt a bit. It excites him a little, maybe just for revenge purposes.

He hears a small _Adonis-_ dono _, how could you, I thought we were friends...!_ but Souma doesn’t say anything, only looks away and his face flushes.

“Souma.” He emphasizes, spitting the name out crudely, but then he sighs and deflates because he can’t really stay being mad for too long. “Just-- tell me why you lied, okay? Really, I’m not here to lecture you. I just wanna know what happened, you know?”

“I... I am sorry, Kaoru- _dono_!” Souma’s voice squeaks, and even now it’s still funny. “I-I was truthful with my feelings for Adonis- _dono_ in the beginning, but my feelings, ah, changed. But-- I did not want to disappoint Kaoru- _dono_ , so I...”

Oh, cute. He didn’t want to disappoint Kaoru, so he went and lied and caused Kaoru inner turmoil.

Kaoru presses his fingers to his temples. “I mean, that’s sweet of you and all, but I wouldn’t be mad at you if you told me your feelings changed, you know?”

“Ah, I intended to be honest, but...” He sees Souma play with his fingers again, and suddenly it’s deja vu. “Kaoru- _dono_ was so excited, I wanted him to keep smiling...”

Kaoru feels it, feels his heart thump harder and it kind of really hurts and burns. “O-Oh. That’s-- uh. T-Thanks...?”

He swallows thick when Souma looks back at him and smiles. For some reason, he’s even more nervous.

“W-Well, I guess that’s over with...” Kaoru sighs, but it gets cut short when Souma takes a small step forward. “But-- Adonis said there was someone else you liked, right?”

He sees Souma flinch, hard, practically jumping. He’s smiling, still, but it’s twisted and Kaoru thinks he’s sweating.

“You okay...? Not that I care, that is.” When Souma gives him a stiff nod, he continues, “Well, I’ve gone too far to stop here. Gotta go all the way, I guess, even if I don’t really want to. So, who is it? Kanata- _kun_? One of the AKATSUKI guys? Please don’t say it’s the one with glasses-- Sorry, but that guy’s too far deep in Tenshouin hell for you.”

“The.”

“...The...?”

They stand there, awkwardly, silence hanging heavy in the room as Kaoru simply watches Souma turn redder and redder by the second, watches his hands shake more and sweat roll down his temples. It’s so gross it’s cute.

“...It is... Fine, Kaoru- _dono_. Y-You have done s-so much for me, I can... Handle it on my own,” Souma’s voice is squeaking and shaking so much Kaoru swears they’re in the middle of an earthquake.

“Souma, you couldn’t even pick out an outfit by yourself, how can you handle planning _another_ confession?” Kaoru sighs, the air he breathes fall out of his mouth along with the built up tension. “You can trust me. Really, really!”

Souma mumbles something that Kaoru can’t hear, but he straightens himself enough to look blond in the eye – well, not really, he’s looking at anywhere _but_ his eyes, but hey, details.

“N-No, it is fine. I do not wish to burden Kaoru- _dono_ any further...”

“Well, I mean, that’s fine, but...” He leans in a bit, slightly, and Souma inches back a step, tripping slightly but steadying himself. He sighs dramatically, gesturing with gusto. “Wow, and I thought we were friends! Friends are suppose to tell each other everything, yeah? You hurt me, Souma- _kyuun_.”

He expects a grimace as he emphasizes the ever hated nickname, but Souma doesn’t really react, doesn’t hear it; he’s biting his lip instead, pulling at the skin and all Kaoru can think about is how rough they felt last time, and now he’s making it worse.

“Of course, Kaoru- _dono_ and I are friends!” Souma says it a little too quickly, too loudly and too messily and he bites his lip harder and flushes pink – more pink, more red, rather. “Ah, I mean to say... It is no concern to you, I guarantee. The chances of success are nil.”

“Wow, aren’t you optimistic. You can’t know until you try?” Kaoru shifts his own eyes, because there’s bubbles forming in his chest and he thinks if he looks at the other he’ll throw up or cry. Or both. Probably both. “I mean, give yourself a little credit. You’re pretty quirky, and your love for turtles is pretty cute, I guess. And, I don’t know, you’re soft? And nice, generous, that sort of thing. And you can cook. That’s a plus, right? So, really, you have good chances—you’re appealing, I guess. So don’t be too pessimistic is what I’m saying.”

He can feel his face burn, and he wants to bite his tongue off because he really said _way_ too much. He doesn’t even get it, too – he hates comforting people, he’s _awful_ at it. He doesn’t get why he’s trying so hard to comfort the other when Kaoru knows Souma doesn’t really need it, because really, he knows Souma’s just trying to dodge the subject all together. But no, he’s gotta go gay-it-up, paint his feelings a little more obviously, but maybe that’s okay—Souma’s pretty thickheaded after all.

And maybe it really is okay, because Souma’s face is burning twice as hotter as Kaoru’s is, and he presses a hand against his lip to prevent any more strange squeaks from escaping. Kaoru hears him mumble out a _thank you_ but it’s so indistinguishable that it really just sounds like a verbal keyboard smash.

“That is, ah, you are very kind. That makes me feel, um, nice.” Souma straightens himself a bit, but his face hasn’t cooled and he’s still shaking a little but at least his mouth has wired itself into some formation of a smile. He – stiffly – shuffles his way over to his bag on the table and picks it up. “But I do not want to burden Kaoru- _dono,_ so you should not--”

“Oh my _god_ , Souma,” Kaoru finally snaps, his voice raising just slightly enough to let the other cue in on how _done_ he was, “just tell me, holy crap, it’s _fine_.”

Souma jumps, his bag dropping consequently, squeaks just a tiny bit but stays silent. His eyes cast downward but Kaoru waits, because even though he’s shaking, he’s learned by now that the frantic look that paints his eyes means he’s conflicted, contemplating, hesitating.

Really, he just wants Souma to spit it out so he can be freed.

Rejection never felt like such a good option at this point.

“...I am sorry.”

Kaoru snaps from his own haze, perking to look at the boy. He looks more guilty now; the shaking has stopped, but he’s twirling – playing, but it looks way too painful to be that innocent, Kaoru thinks he’s trying to break his appendages off – with his fingers again, but it’s in a sad attempt to calm himself, the blond thinks. His eyes are fogged with something Kaoru can’t read.

“I mean, okay, but you have to be more specific, Souma, you have a lot to apologize for--”

“I am sorry to have to burden you with my own feelings, Kaoru- _dono_.”

Wait. What?

“...Are you saying, that—that, the person you like, is...?” He doesn’t even say it, just simply turns his finger slowly to himself, and Souma just nods, stiffly and pathetically.

Oh.

 _Oh_.

“...Oh.”

It’s all he can say, really—his mind is racing too fast, he can’t think, he can’t feel really besides the burning that’s in his face and now is blooming in his chest, and he thinks his heart is going to fail any time soon because he doesn’t think it’s normal for a human’s heart to beat _that_ fast.

There’s something in the back of his mind that’s laughing, because Kanzaki Souma hated Hakaze Kaoru just a few months ago. Character development? But really, Kaoru has no place to judge that, considered how hard he fell, too.

“I am truly sorry. I, truthfully, did have feelings towards Adonis- _dono_ , but after spending time with Kaoru- _dono_ , and seeing his true nature—something changed.”

To be honest, it’s cute what Souma’s saying. It’s sweet and pure and Kaoru’s trying his best to savour it but his heartbeat is too loud in his ears and it’s ruining everything.

“B-By the time I had realized, I feared that, if I were to tell you, the time I could spend with Kaoru- _dono_... Would end. I... wanted to spend more time with Kaoru- _dono_ , so I lied. I apologize. I am truly, truly sorry!”

Kaoru has to shake himself out of his trance, because now Souma’s upset and crying about god knows what, and mumbling about what a sinner he is and how he deserves divine punishment and Kaoru doesn’t understand nor does he want to understand it all. He steadies himself, though, and steps forward, brushing his fingers lightly to Souma’s wet cheeks and wiping his tears – there’s only so much he can do, though, because when Souma cries, he cries a river.

“Hey, it’s okay. Really, I’m not mad at you.” The younger stops crying, briefly at least, and opens his watering eyes to look at Kaoru’s. “You’re not awful for having feelings, Souma. Really, it’s okay. I’m glad you were able to finally confess something, at least—my help did pay off! See, I really am a genius in the fields of love.”

He’s kind of joking, but Souma laughs anyways, and it comforts the both of them. Souma raises his hands and rubs his eyes with his sleeves. Kaoru’s at a loss of what to do, of what to say because he knows he has words but he doesn’t want to say them (he’s not mentally prepared to say them yet), so he settles by rubbing Souma’s head affectionately.

“Thank you. But, ah, if it is not too much of a bother, may I ask for a reply?”

Oh.

 _Shit_.

Suddenly Kaoru’s hands are sweating and he has to take them off of Souma’s head.

“Uh, yeah, ah,” now he’s shaking, he’s looking away and stammering, “I’m—not into guys, sorry.”

“...But Kaoru- _dono_ said he was.”

“You actually listen to me?!” His voice breaks just a little, and he hears Souma chuckle at it but chooses to ignore it – rather, he does ignore it, because he can only hear his heartbeat again, and it’s loud and it kind of hurts to listen to. “But—remember, I said I just wasn’t into _you_...?”

“Ah, that is right. Forgive me.” Souma looks disappointed, and probably is, but then he perks back up and looks at Kaoru in a way that he doesn’t like. “But then, that time in the park—why did you, erm, kiss me?”

 _ **S**_ _ **hit**_.

“Oh, that was--” Kaoru takes a step back, and he trips just slightly over himself. “Um, to test you. For Adonis. For practice, y’know?”

“You said you did not want to help me practice that action, though.”

“Shit,” he says verbally now. “I was-- possessed.”

“What?”

“Aliens. It was aliens all along, Souma, I’m sorry but I have to return to my home planet now--”

“Kaoru- _dono_!”

“Ahh, I got it, I got it!” He’s stumbled back far enough that his back hits the wall now, and he slumps down against it. Honestly, for being someone who actively lies on dating profiles, Kaoru’s verbal lying ability is non-existent. “Don’t make me say it, Souma- _kyuuuun,_ it’s _embarrasinggg.”_

He hears Souma laugh, and soon he sees him plop down in front of him, sickly sweet smile and all. “It is fine. I am happy. Adonis- _dono_ was right after all!”

“Hm? Wait, what do you mean?” He sweats a little; was he _that_ obvious that even Adonis of all people would read him?

“Ah, I apologize. It was a matter he and I talked about last week over dinner,” Souma explains, and Kaoru’s starting to connect the dots, “he and Sakuma- _dono_ discussed it, and because Adonis- _dono_ offered to help me with this all--”

“Of course that vampire got involved, he always does.” Kaoru sighs, but he’s not irritated in a way – maybe he’s a little grateful, maybe just a little. “But hey, it worked out in the end. And man, I never expected Adonis of all people to be playing matchmaker.”

“Mm, I feel the same. I did not expect Adonis- _dono_ to be able to plan such a thing, considering he cannot even make phone calls without my assistance.” Souma sighs then, too, and this time Kaoru hears slight irritation, and that makes him laugh – even with as much patience and dullness Souma has, Adonis makes him wear down. “So—ah. Are we...?”

Oh, right, he forgot about that. “Ah—yeah. I guess. I mean, do you wanna...?”

“Yes!” Souma says it too quickly, too excitedly, too loudly and covers his mouth. “Yes. I do. If—If Kaoru- _dono_ wants to.”

Kaoru snickers. _Cute_. “Yeah, sure, it’s cool with me. So, um. Okay.” There’s silence, an awkward one, but it breaks because they both start giggling again. “Sorry—honestly I haven’t done this whole relationship thing in a while. I don’t really know what to do.”

Souma shakes his head. “I do not know either. But, ah, school has ended, correct?” Kaoru nods. “Then, maybe, if Kaoru- _dono_ is okay with it, we could go out...?”

“Ohh? Are you asking me on a date, Souma- _kyuuun_?”

“No! I am n--” But he stops, deadpans, because Kaoru laughs and wow he’s still an idiot. “I mean, _yes_ , I am.”

“Fine by me, then.” He grabs Souma’s hand, pulling himself and the other up in the process. “Where to? Restaurant?”

“Mm, my home. I can make Kaoru- _dono_ dinner, if that is okay.”

“Ohh, nice! You have to introduce me to your parents, too. Common courtesy, you know?”

“Of course. Please do not flirt with my mother, though.”

“But Souma- _kyuuun_ ,” he feels Souma’s body shiver, and there’s a familiar grimace on his face. That’ll never get old, “she’s pretty and she looks _just_ like you, that’s like, my type, apparently. I can’t not--”

“No.”

“But--”

“ _No_.” Souma shoots him a glare, and tightens his grip on the hilt of his blade, and Kaoru laughs because his face is too cute to be intimidating.

“Wow, geez, okay, I got it. I was only kidding, you know. I know it’s hard not to be jealous of others when your boyfriend is _this_ handsome, though.”

But Souma only grunts and throws his bag over his shoulder, dragging Kaoru out of the room with him by the hand.

Kaoru feels his phone vibrate in his pocket as they walk down the halls, and he sees a slew of messages from Koga with utterances of _get your ass back here!_ and _you better show up for practice tomorrow, asshole!_ and other thoughtless threats, but Kaoru shuts his phone off and ignores them for now, because he has other things, more important things to focus on. He squeezes Souma’s hand, and he feels a squeeze back, and he doesn’t try to bite back a smile this time, because everything is finally alright and aligned.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> gay me up scotty 
> 
> AA ITS OVER ! ! ! ok so a few things i am Sorry if this ending seemed rushed or bad im really sorry!! i don't have a lot of time but i didn't want to just Die and let this fic rot that would not be good,,, but i hope you enjoyed it nonetheless!!! 
> 
> i was also considering a . sequel? detailing kaosou relationship but also add spiccy graduation angst but we'll see what you guys say bc i want to write things that other people will enjoy !! ! that is my main goal,
> 
> BUT most importantly: thank you guys so much for sticking through this very short series so far!!! i really appreciate the comments i got and all the kudos as well!!! honestly the support was really overwhelming and im super happy about it ! ! i am so bad with words but my dudes seriously thank you so much i hope you all have good days and have a week full of sunshine, 
> 
> so !!!!!! again thank you for sticking with the series and im super super sorry if disappointed anyone that wanted adosou :< im sorry !!!!!! i plan to write adosou again in the future they are my children and i must make them happy,,,, but thank you nonetheless ! ! !
> 
> i hope you all enjoyed ! ! ! ♡♡

**Author's Note:**

> :^)  
> this is gonna be a chaptered fic so ill try to keep it updated? ? but please tell me what you thi nk !! it keeps me motivated and i really appreciate it ! !


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